Four Tips for Talking to Your Partner About Intimacy

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Even if you are intimate with a partner, it can be difficult to talk about sex or intimacy in general.  The topic is very sensitive at best and embarrassing at worst, so it is important to go about the conversation in the right way.  There are lots of ways to address intimacy, but intimacy can definitely be tough to talk about.  Intimacy is essentially the idea that two human beings can become more whole through certain acts.  These acts might include kissing or even just talking.  Intimacy is at the heart of what allows people to communicate deeply with each other.  It is important to talk about intimacy in the best way possible, and you cannot have a good conversation about intimacy without first consulting professionals who know everything there is to know about sex. Misunderstanding the nature of intimacy can be frustratingly easy, so you ought to consider expert advice to go about sexual management in a responsible way.  Here are some of those expert tips.

1. Use a Prostate Massager

As its name suggests, a prostate massager is truly a technological marvel that massages the perineum.  How is this different from regular masturbation?  First off, you have to stick it up your butt.  Not all people want to stick things up their butt on a daily basis.  If you are an anti-vaxxer or a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, then there is an exceedingly high chance that you enjoy sticking things up your butt.  If you are totally fine sticking things up your butt, then by all means enjoy a prostate massager.  Massagers come with remotes so that you can update the speed or intensity without taking it out.  With one of these, you will orgasm on command.  Also, there is no need for a gingerly clean; you can submerge the whole thing in water, as it is waterproof.  Prostate massagers are convenient, compact, and relatively inexpensive.

2. Talk About Fantasies

Not that you will necessarily satisfy them with your partner, but it is important to at least mention your fantasies.  Talk about the physical appearances you are attracted to.  Talk about actions, behaviors, and words that you enjoy, but more importantly, talk about the things that might make you uncomfortable: One woman might be triggered by the word, “slut,” while another woman might call herself a slut.  However taboo your fantasies might be, your relationship will be better if you share them.  Some fantasies are as simple as meeting someone who is just like you and makes you feel like the luckiest person on the planet.  Others can be as superficial as having sex at work.  

Those who discuss fantasies with partners have better sex lives.  It is an unequivocally linear relationship.  As a further suggestion, you are probably not special.  Most kinks are common, from virgin kinks to BDSM.  BDSM is common enough to be an acronym.  That you are not special is important to remember because the bottom line is that you will not disgust your partner with your crazy kink.  For all you know, your partner might have the same fantasies that you have.

3. Ask Questions

If you have had sex with your partner, then chances are that you have gone on a date with him or her too, so you know how to ask questions.  Ask fun questions.  Ask if your partner wants to give you head.  Ask your partner if he or she wants head.  Ask your partner about his or her weirdest kink, and they might actually feel encouraged to fill you in.  This is one of the best ways to aim at the heart of what your partner enjoys most.  Over the course of any relationship, questions evolve from, “Are you a complete idiot?” to, “Do you believe in contraception?” to, “What kind of sex do you like?” Be sure to ask the right questions at the right stage in the relationship.

4. Talk About Sex as Early as Possible

Assuming both of you feel ready, talk about sex as soon as you become intimate.  To talk about sex early in the most effective way, present the most inoffensive fantasies to your partner first before moving on to dicier stuff.  Once you establish boundaries with regard to contraception, you can move on to what you enjoy.  If you are in a long-term relationship, then you have plenty of time to perfect this conversation.  It is important that your partner understands the role to play in your fantasy.  Otherwise, your partner may feel threatened or concerned.  In a relationship’s early stages, your partner may not know enough about you to feel comfortable.  Talking about sex early can be a great way to ensure that every sexual experience you have with your new partner is enjoyable.

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