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Adam Gelinas, Clinic Director, First Step Men’s Therapy
Welcome, Adam! Can you tell us a bit about yourself and your journey to becoming an advocate for men’s mental health and healing?
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been drawn to understanding people—their struggles, emotions, and the patterns that shape their lives. But my path to mental health wasn’t just about curiosity; it was personal. Like many men, I grew up believing that strength meant silence, that struggles were meant to be dealt with alone, and that vulnerability was a weakness.
Over time, I saw how this mindset led to stress, disconnection, and a growing sense of isolation—not just for me, but for so many others around me. I’ve witnessed firsthand how unspoken pain can manifest—through strained relationships, burnout, and self-destructive behaviors. I’ve also learned that change is possible.
When I finally sought my own growth, it opened my eyes to the power of self-awareness, emotional honesty, and healing. That experience fueled my passion for helping others navigate their own journeys.
Your work touches upon various aspects of personal growth, from therapy and counseling to parenting and overcoming trauma. Could you share a pivotal moment in your career that solidified your passion for this path?
In my own therapy journey, I realized the pivotal role a therapist can play in the healing journey of others. In many ways, this therapeutic relationship models one of our healthiest, most intimate relationships. I realized early on how being a therapist can ultimately lead to healthier men, healthier families, and, ultimately, healthier communities — a passion I was really keen to develop and learn more about.
You’ve mentioned the importance of facing discomfort for growth. How can men apply this principle to address emotional challenges they might typically avoid?
Facing discomfort is essential for growth, but it’s something many men instinctively avoid. We’re often taught to suppress difficult emotions, like fear, sadness, or vulnerability, because acknowledging them feels like weakness. In reality, real strength comes from leaning into discomfort rather than running from it. The first step is simply recognizing what you’re feeling instead of pushing it aside. Naming an emotion—whether it’s frustration, shame, or anxiety—can make it feel less overwhelming.
Once you acknowledge it, the key is to sit with it rather than trying to escape through distraction or numbing behaviors. Growth happens in those moments of discomfort, when you resist the urge to shut down and instead allow yourself to process what’s happening. Opening up to someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, a therapist, or a mentor, can also be a powerful way to face emotional challenges.
Talking about struggles isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s an act of courage that helps break down the isolation that so many men experience. Change doesn’t have to happen all at once, either.
Even small steps, like expressing an emotion or setting a boundary, can lead to meaningful growth over time. Ultimately, discomfort isn’t the enemy—it’s proof that you’re pushing yourself beyond old patterns. The more you lean into it, the more you’ll realize that facing what’s difficult is the only way to truly move forward.
In your experience, what are some common misconceptions surrounding men’s mental health, and how can we challenge these stereotypes?
One of the biggest misconceptions surrounding men’s mental health is the belief that real men don’t struggle with mental health issues. There’s this idea that vulnerability or emotional struggles are signs of weakness, which leads many men to suffer in silence. The truth is, men experience anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges just as frequently as anyone else. They just tend to hide it because they’re often afraid of being judged or labeled as less masculine.
Challenging this means normalizing the conversation about mental health—encouraging men to speak up and share their experiences, and letting them know it’s okay to seek help. Another stereotype is that expressing emotions makes you less masculine. Many men are taught to suppress emotions like sadness, fear, or vulnerability, believing these feelings somehow diminish their strength or worth.
This belief only leads to emotional bottling, which can manifest in anger, isolation, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. We need to challenge this by reframing vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness. Expressing emotions and being emotionally honest actually require courage, and emotional intelligence is a key quality of strong, well-rounded individuals.
Lastly, there’s the misconception that men should just “tough it out” and push through their struggles without reaching out for support. This outdated mindset pressures men to deal with everything alone, which often makes mental health issues worse. Instead of internalizing problems, men should be encouraged to share their struggles and seek support. Asking for help isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a step toward healing and strength. By challenging these stereotypes, we can create a healthier, more supportive environment for men to address their mental health with the same care and attention they would give to any other aspect of their well-being.
Many men struggle to balance their roles as fathers, partners, and individuals. What advice would you give to men navigating these different identities while prioritizing their mental well-being?
This may sound cliché, but I love to use the analogy of the airplane-oxygen mask. We can’t help others survive if we don’t take care of ourselves first.
Balancing the roles of father, partner, and individual can feel overwhelming at times, but prioritizing mental well-being in these roles is crucial. The first step is to set realistic expectations for yourself. It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to excel in every role all the time, but that’s simply not sustainable. Accepting that you can’t be perfect in every area helps reduce unnecessary pressure and allows space for flexibility when life demands more of you in one role over another.
Self-care is another critical piece of the puzzle. Many men struggle with the idea that taking time for themselves is selfish, but it’s the opposite. Self-care is essential for mental and emotional well-being. Whether it’s regular exercise, taking moments of solitude, or just finding activities that help you unwind, carving out time for yourself helps you recharge and show up more fully in your other roles.
Setting boundaries is equally important. In relationships and parenting, it’s vital to communicate your needs and understand your limits. Being clear about what you can and can’t do at any given time helps prevent burnout and ensures that you’re not overextending yourself. Boundaries protect your energy and create a healthier dynamic at home.
Healing from trauma can be a long and complex process. What steps can individuals take to begin their journey toward healing and self-discovery?
Healing from trauma is a deeply personal and often long process, but it begins with acknowledging the pain and its impact. The first step is recognizing that the trauma exists and accepting that it has affected your life. This doesn’t mean accepting it as part of your identity, but rather acknowledging its presence without judgment or shame. It’s important to validate your experience and give yourself permission to feel the emotions associated with it.
Seeking support is also a critical part of the healing process. Trauma can isolate you, and trying to navigate recovery alone can feel daunting. Connecting with a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma recovery provides a safe space to explore your feelings, learn coping mechanisms, and start processing your experience. Additionally, talking to trusted friends or family members can offer emotional support, but professional help is often essential for working through the deep-rooted effects of trauma.
Another key element is practicing self-compassion. Trauma can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, or self-blame, making it even harder to move forward. It’s vital to treat yourself with kindness and patience throughout the journey. Understand that healing is not linear and that setbacks are normal. Progress may come slowly, but it’s still progress.
Lastly, grounding yourself in the present moment can be incredibly beneficial. Trauma often keeps you stuck in the past, so grounding techniques—such as mindfulness, deep breathing, or simply focusing on the sensations of your body—can help bring you back to the present and reduce the emotional intensity of painful memories. Healing requires time, patience, and the courage to face difficult emotions, but every small step forward is part of reclaiming your power and sense of self.
Parenting can be both rewarding and demanding. What are some key principles you’ve learned about fostering healthy emotional development in children?
Parenting is a journey full of both rewards and challenges, and fostering healthy emotional development in children is at the heart of it. One key principle I’ve learned is the importance of modeling emotional regulation. Children learn a lot from observing how their parents handle emotions.
By demonstrating calmness, patience, and self-regulation, you teach them that it’s okay to feel emotions, but it’s important to manage them constructively. This sets the foundation for how they handle stress, frustration, and difficult situations later in life.
Another important principle is the power of empathy. Children need to feel understood and validated. When they experience strong emotions, taking the time to listen, acknowledge their feelings, and offer comfort helps them feel safe and supported. Empathy allows them to see that their feelings are normal and manageable, fostering emotional resilience. Encouraging open communication is also crucial.
Creating an environment where children feel safe to express themselves, without fear of judgment, helps them build emotional literacy. It’s important to reassure them that no emotion is “bad,” but it’s how they express and deal with their feelings that matters. By teaching children to communicate their emotions, you equip them with the tools to navigate relationships and their own inner world.
How can we create safer spaces for men to openly discuss their mental health and seek support without fear of judgment?
Creating safer spaces for men to openly discuss their mental health and seek support without fear of judgment requires intentionality and a shift in both individual and cultural attitudes. The first step is fostering empathy and understanding. Men need to feel heard and validated in their experiences. When discussing mental health, it’s important to create environments where their feelings aren’t minimized or dismissed.
This means offering active listening and responding with empathy, rather than immediately offering solutions or judgment. Another key aspect is challenging the stigma around men’s emotional expression. Many men grow up being told that expressing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. To create safer spaces, we need to normalize emotional expression by encouraging open, non-judgmental dialogue around mental health.
This can be done by having regular conversations about mental well-being, where struggles and emotional challenges are acknowledged as part of being human, not as signs of failure. It’s also crucial to model healthy vulnerability. If leaders, mentors, or peers within a group—whether it’s a family, workplace, or community—demonstrate that it’s okay to express emotions, others are more likely to follow suit.
When men see others, especially those they respect, talking about their mental health and seeking help, it normalizes the process and makes it easier for them to do the same. Providing accessible resources and support is another important element.
Having clear, available options for men to seek help—whether it’s through therapy, support groups, or online resources—ensures that they don’t feel isolated in their struggles. Ensuring that support networks are welcoming and affirming will make men feel more comfortable reaching out.
What final piece of advice would you offer to readers seeking to improve their mental well-being and live more fulfilling lives?
A final piece of advice I would offer to readers seeking to improve their mental well-being and live more fulfilling lives is to embrace the journey of self-awareness and growth. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you need to have it all figured out right away, but true well-being is an ongoing process. Take small, consistent steps to understand yourself better—your thoughts, your emotions, your triggers, and your needs.
This self-awareness creates a foundation for change and healing. Be patient with yourself, knowing that setbacks are part of the journey. You don’t need to be perfect, and there’s no rush to reach an ideal version of yourself. Growth is about showing up for yourself every day, even on the days that feel harder than others. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it and surround yourself with people who uplift and support your journey.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge and expertise. Is there anything else you’d like to add?
I named the practice “First Step Men’s Therapy” because, for many men, just reaching out for a call or email can be overwhelming. Journeys of healing and self-discovery don’t happen overnight—they happen in the small, short steps we take to learn, heal, grow, and forge a different path.
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